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itsamellama
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It's afternoon where I am, at least. I spent my morning taking a long walk and finally playing Pokemon Go (yay, super cheap data plans I can afford on my tiny budget!), so I finally just reached level 10 ; w;

Yesterday, I jogged/ran for 1 hr, and according to Strava, I hit 6km??? I am joining a marathon in early Sept, I hope I can be prepared by then.

Tonight, I'll be having dinner with my partner at a really nice Japanese restaurant we tried recently :D I'm really looking forward to it~

TL;DR: August has been a very difficult month so far!Collapse )

If you'd like to treat me to something for my birthday, dropping something in the tip jar would be awesome~



(You can also leave a tip via Gumroad~)

Things that would make my year: slowly building up my Patreon total, even a dollar a month really, really helps, especially now that I'm back to studying + part-time freelancing ; w ; ♥



Thank you so much!!!

Hi! This was originally posted at http://itsamellama.dreamwidth.org/152626.html. You can comment there using OpenID. I mainly use Dreamwidth now; please feel free to follow me there!

My internet's still awful (one week and going! Awesome.) and my birthday month's still kind of... kicking me in the teeth. But, hey, at least I dyed my hair pink (FINALLY):

under the cutCollapse )

Hi! This was originally posted at http://itsamellama.dreamwidth.org/151980.html. You can comment there using OpenID. I mainly use Dreamwidth now; please feel free to follow me there!

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It's one of Those Weeks and Days (TM), and I could use all the affirmative messages I can right now. :(

Thanks so much in advance.

Hi! This was originally posted at http://itsamellama.dreamwidth.org/151570.html. You can comment there using OpenID. I mainly use Dreamwidth now; please feel free to follow me there!

Hello!

I would like to do a quick poll, for those already supporting my work (thank you!), and those who have thought of doing so but have not yet. Cross-posted from my Patreon:

In the interests of making sure I can provide more of what tickles your fancy and brightens your day when you see your Patreon dash, I would like to ask a few questions, which I hope will help me better serve you:

1. When you pledged to this campaign, did you pledge for something specifically? For example, did you pledge because you enjoy my art posts and want to see more of them? Or did you pledge for my writing posts? Or was it the crafting posts that got your attention? Or are you pledging in general to support me for all of those things?

2. What would you like to see me post more of? (I know I have been terribly lacking in this aspect. In turn, I have been reworking my rewards and goals, and trying to come up with systems to make these easier to get to you!) Are there certain rewards you would like to see? Are there rewards you wanted to get but couldn't because of price points?

Thank you so much for your time :D I promise to take everything into account, so that this campaign will be better and brighter than ever <3

All the best,
Mel

Hi! This was originally posted at http://itsamellama.dreamwidth.org/150214.html. You can comment there using OpenID. I mainly use Dreamwidth now; please feel free to follow me there!

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Content notes: decluttering, mention of expired food (sob)

Under the cut...Collapse )

Hi! This was originally posted at http://itsamellama.dreamwidth.org/148495.html. You can comment there using OpenID. I mainly use Dreamwidth now; please feel free to follow me there!

Me. :)) Eesh, I'm so bad at replying ASAP to things, so if you see a couple of short messages in your inbox, that might be me responding with micro-squees, hahaha.

In terms of what's been up:

Art

• I finally invested in a WACOM Cintiq 13 HD! I am still doing my best not to freak out over "OMG HOW DARE SPEND LARGE AMOUNT OF MONEY ON EQUIPMENT THAT WILL MAKE THINGS EASIER!!!" but so far using it has been a dream. It's also not too cramped as I feared it would be like my Yiynova DP10U! I might sell the latter, still thinking about whether to sell my old Intuos4 tablet, too. I could probably do international shipping too, but I'd have to look into shipping fees. :o

Couldn't have afforded it (or had the healthy brainz to convince myself to get it w/o irrational financial guilt) without everybody's support, either! So, again, thank you so so so so so SO much for helping me get to this point. ♥

Work
• I've set a healthier freelancing balance to work on MWFs for 8 hours a day, so I can set aside TTH for thesis times. I hope this works out better than my 'original' schedule of MWF for school and TTH for freelance. :o I'm currently on my self-appointed lunch and funtimez break before doing my last four hours for freelance, and I think I've been really productive today so far. :D

On the plus side, I've been behaved and haven't claimed much new regular work, huzzah. As tempting as it really, really is for workaholics like me. I have... two regular clients, and I take on one extra short-term project if I feel like I'm up to it (usually art), and that's it. Let's see if I can keep this up. :o

School
• what is thesis. what is MA. Kidding aside, I hope to really REALLY pick up the pace on my research and annotated bibliography tomorrow. Merp. I really dropped the ball on this having worked more on freelancing and making sure I have enough to pay the bills each month. D: (Financial guilt, stop being on overdrive.)

Games
• I've been playing Final Fantasy XIII on and off. We recently bought Beyond: Two Souls, too, and Aiken bought a PS3 port of Persona 4. I'm trying to be just as behaved with regards to buying too many games without finishing them, ahahaha.

Anime
• We finished Erased (Bokudake) a few weeks back, and my partner's getting me started on Sword Art Online, which he only started this week, too. It's.... interesting, I suppose, but I'm really frustrated by all the unnecessary fanservice, and too much stuff doesn't make logical sense, but, eh. Makes me want to rewatch .hack//SIGN and see if it's still as good as I remember it from my teen years, hahaha.

• I also watched a few episodes of the PPG reboot with my boyfriend and oh boy maybe it's a generation thing but I found it so, so bland. :( I've been meaning to write an analysis comparing the original to the reboot, and what I think are the pros and cons of both. I admit it may be nostalgia talking but I feel like the original had a lot more to bring to the table. Can't be certain unless I do a full rewatch of the whole seasons from both versions, hahaha.

Misc
• Help, I can't stop squishing my adorable pink seal plushie. I have given it several nicknames including "Strawberrybb" and "Tempura." It's so destressing just to look at it, I almost wish it were an actual living pet, ahahaha. I've missed letting little things that seem like luxuries, such as plushies, bring a little more fun and light into my life, hahaha.

Hi! This was originally posted at http://itsamellama.dreamwidth.org/146958.html. You can comment there using OpenID. I mainly use Dreamwidth now; please feel free to follow me there!

Image under the cut!Collapse )

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As you might be able to tell, I am trying to make it a habit to make more public posts to dreamwidth, as I quite miss being involved here in some way or another. *_* I've been kicked in the butt multiple times by freelance work so far, and I am exhausted, but I promised myself I'd pamper myself today and tomorrow before I go back into the full swing of it. Overall it's been all good and I think I didn't do too bad for my first foray back into the writing business on my own. :D

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There was a flash fiction contest I tried to join but then at the last minute, I decided against it, because it was so... vague. Even if it was two corporations that were both legit, all the photo said was, "submit your story to [email] and get a chance to win [x] prizes and get published in [x]!" Not even a link to a post with mechanics, or what happens to your rights after you submit... and they didn't make one, despite tons of people asking in the comments (though they did respond, it seems). I err on the side of caution that if they don't take the effort to make a page compiling their rules and copyright stance, I'll just... not risk it?

On the bright side, I have about 150 words of a seedlet for a possible new short story... about two girls who have run away... I don't know if I can pull off what I want to do with it. Maybe I can even use this for my thesis...?

So many workshops and anthologies I want to join, but one at a time, self. You've just started getting this freelance working thing down again (albeit you kind of overdid it, ahaha, tho some of that was no fault of your own)... it takes time to master something. :)

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I still need to fix my schedule for schoolwork... I definitely did not do well on that. But, progress!

How are you all? :)

Hi! This was originally posted at http://itsamellama.dreamwidth.org/146773.html. You can comment there using OpenID. I mainly use Dreamwidth now; please feel free to follow me there!

under cut cuz omg bigCollapse )

*squee* ♥

(Yes we celebrated our anniversary two weeks late, ahahaha.)

Hi! This was originally posted at http://itsamellama.dreamwidth.org/146450.html. You can comment there using OpenID. I mainly use Dreamwidth now; please feel free to follow me there!

I had some things I wanted to get done over the weekend, but I got taken down for the count by various physical circumstances beyond my control. As a result, I not only am struggling with feeling bad because of not feeling all that well, but am also fighting off the brain bugs for not getting the work I wanted to get done, well, done.

It's hard, and I still feel 'bleh,' but I think I am doing a pretty good job of controlling the brain bugs, though? I feel like I've scooped them up in a jar and they're still there but I can just stare at them and know that they can't hurt me if I keep them at a distance.

And it kind of amazes me that I can actually keep them at bay on my own now.

I think, overall, I really am doing much better now than I was one, two, three years ago. It started with therapy (thank you again, everybody who helped me raise money for it---I owe you so much), then I was able to afford to move out (again, thank you, everybody, for your generosity in helping me raise enough).

Since I made the major decision to quit my latest day-job to pursue and finally finish my MA studies as well as pursue personal projects while dipping my toes into freelancing again, I've been feeling... more confident? I'm able to talk myself out of feeling bad for irrational reasons now.

I have stress, sure (who doesn't, when one has to find a way to pay the bills and finish studies?), but it doesn't feel like an impending sense of doom anymore. I don't feel stressed out every day to the point that I always have something to complain about or feel like I'm hopeless. I have days when I freeze and think "oh no I am an adult on my own what do", but I've been able to figure things out.

I've been doing this since last year, but especially since I started working from home, I've been learning how to cook new dishes (I recently tried pork lumpiang shanghai and fried rice. I'm quite excited to make more!), and am still mastering the art of batch-cooking food for the week (might need bigger pots and pans for that and more food containers, but our place is so tiny, hence tiny pots and pans) and making sure we buy only enough groceries for the week that won't go bad (I almost had this down last week! Almost.)

I find it nice that I've been allowing myself to make mistakes when I cook--something I still have trouble affording myself when art-ing or writing--but I did experiment entirely with that art piece in my last post (nothing was planned- I just started with a sketch of a face I had done last year as my base). It's great! I wonder if I can still do this for all my stuff.

Basically, erm, yes. I'm in a much better headspace now. I do still get pangs of depression and anxiety, but I'm so much better able to handle them now. I don't feel anywhere near as hopeless as I used to feel? Take these delays in my MA, for instance. Instead of crushing myself for not making it on time, I figured out it's not the end of the world, and I can still make up for it. Tell this to Mel 1-3 years ago and she would've crumbled completely.

I still wish I could multiply myself to get everything I wanted done - chores, work, personal stuff - but I think I am getting a better awareness of just how many hours there are in a day and just how much I can realistically get done without burning myself out. On the flip side, I need to master how to not end up fuffing about the whole day either.

I have a lot more I want to say, but I think I'll end here for now. I think I feel better being able to talk about this out in the open too. :) Thank you, thank you, thank you all for being so kind to me.

Hi! This was originally posted at http://itsamellama.dreamwidth.org/145936.html. You can comment there using OpenID. I mainly use Dreamwidth now; please feel free to follow me there!

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I managed to finish a thing this month, hooray! I will be scanning and posting the full artwork later today on my Patreon later today. :3

Hi! This was originally posted at http://itsamellama.dreamwidth.org/145669.html. You can comment there using OpenID. I mainly use Dreamwidth now; please feel free to follow me there!

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